Married to a Did-Enough Dad? Taking Short-Cuts and Using “Convenience Cards” with the Kids

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Did-Enough Dads - These are the Dads who do just enough to get by. Domestic Shortcuts (skipping baths and teeth brushing) are Standard Operating Procedure, and they make liberal use of Convenience Cards (TV, McDonald’s, 1-800-Grandma).

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End the Chore Wars by Handing in Your Martyr Badge

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Parenting is an unbelievably exhausting business and a certain amount of complaining, even moaning, about the daily grind is understandable and probably healthy. (Maybe it's just me ... but isn't there something unnatural and Stepford Wife-ish about the mother who never has a bad word to say about her husband and children? Or maybe I'm just jealous.) But many of us moms - including me - take things a little too far and play the Martyr.

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Chore Wars, Why Women Keep Score with Their Husbands over Housework

What's the Score?

“Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not been able to answer . . . the great question that has never been answered: what does a woman want?” —Sigmund Freud All Dr. Freud really needed to do was spend a day with a mother of two preschoolers and he would have had his answer: we want a partner, not a helper on the domestic front. We want the gender equality we were raised to expect in our marriages and our parenting. And we’d also like some validation from our husbands to go along with it. “We had our first kid and almost overnight I felt like I went from being an equal to being the lesser partner in my marriage.” —Becky, married 8 years, 3 kids. “Why am I the only one in the house who knows where the pacifier, diaper wipes, and sippy cups are? Where the hell has he been living for the last three years?” —Rachel, married 6 years, 2 kids. In the course of writing about this topic, we realized women tend to keep score more than their husbands. There are two very good reasons for this:

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Advice: My husband thinks that he is working harder than me!

Q. I tried your "Training Weekend". I went away for a weekend in hopes of showing my husband just how my day goes when he is away, but he just packed up baby and himself and headed to his parents for the entire weekend.

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My Husband is a Complete Slob!

Q: I am not exaggerating here, but my husband is a complete SLOB. I asked him out on our 1st date and he answered the door with a mop, so I assumed he knew how to clean. Um, no. We have a 16 month old, and I have a 9 and 10 year old from a previous marriage. I clean up WAY more than I should be. When I ask my kids to clean their room, they do. They know NOT to shed their toys/books/clothes anywhere but their rooms.

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