Just another night in suburbia...
Q. Sex is not on her radar – Help! The whole thing really seems like such a weird joke civilized society plays on us. And ladies, many of us men understand the issues but that doesn't help eliminate our libidos. Bottom line to me is; if there was a pill I could take that would inhibit my sex drive without inhibiting the other necessary benefits of Testosterone, I would take it in an instant.
Mothers of small kids, whether they work or not, often feel that their sense of self is consumed by the roles of cook, chauffeur, cleaner, and toddler entertainer. When sex is added to the list of things that others demand from us, we start to resent it. We start to feel like a rabbit in a cage—a rabbit that is being pursued by an oversexed male rabbit. Run rabbit, run! And when a husband’s idea of foreplay is to use openers like “Hey, it’s been a while . . .” or to say nothing and just give us the Ten O’Clock Shoulder Tap, we want to run even faster. (Cue the "Jaws" theme.)
Imagine, if you will, an entire week or even a month going by without having a conversation with your husband. Imagine a day spent together without as much as a "hello, how you doing?" from him? Or going out for a meal together and having him read a book/read his phone with scarcely a glance in your direction, as you chew your food in silence. Can you imagine how hurt and rejected you would feel? If it has been a while (let's say weeks) since you and your husband have had sex, it's possible that he might be feeling as ignored and rejected as you would feel if he had not spoken to you for weeks.
Dennis and Kimberly Quaid Know Marriage After Kids Hard Work, But Worth a (Second) Try
Hillary Duff’s Marriage Advice for New Moms | Babyproofing Your Marriage is available at any major bookstore, or online: |