Arguing Over Chores: Husbands and Wives Keep Score Over Who Is Working Harder

What's the Score?

On any given weekend in millions of homes across globe, wives stand in front of their husbands listing all of the selfless acts they have performed in the last week: “I paid all the bills, bought a birthday present for your mother, read Goodnight Moon five times, took four six-year-olds to Chuck-E-Cheese . . . and that was just Tuesday. . . .” The husbands return fire: “Excuse me, but did I not make the kids breakfast every morning last week, including the morning it made me late for my presentation, when I really should have gone in early? And I picked up the dry cleaning without being asked, and I did bath duty three times last week. What more do you want?” A volley of personal accomplishments and sacrifices ensues. Not exactly what we thought life would be like when we eyed each other across the room all those years ago, is it?

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How To Live Happily Ever After … After You Have Kids

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Google “happiness and having children” and you’ll find a lot of depressing studies that seem to conclude that we have a national epidemic of miserable parents on our hands. The three of us have to admit that, in some respects, a good response to our own “what happened to my body/career/marriage since I had kids?” questions would have been a fairly swift kick in the ass.

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What Our Parents and Grandparents Can Teach Us About the Early Parenting Years: Reflections From the Other Side

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It’s hard to have perspective about this stage of our lives. We can’t see too far beyond the next milestone: “Things will be so much easier when he’s potty trained/in preschool/making his own lunch/driving a car.” But we can get some perspective from couples who have been down this road already. Even though marriage and parenting have changed dramatically in a generation or two, the fundamental experience of adjusting to parenthood remains basically the same. The parenting veterans once found it as shocking as we do now. They felt their way along in the dark just like we’re all attempting to do.

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End the Chore Wars by Handing in Your Martyr Badge

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Parenting is an unbelievably exhausting business and a certain amount of complaining, even moaning, about the daily grind is understandable and probably healthy. (Maybe it's just me ... but isn't there something unnatural and Stepford Wife-ish about the mother who never has a bad word to say about her husband and children? Or maybe I'm just jealous.) But many of us moms - including me - take things a little too far and play the Martyr.

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Advice: My husband thinks that he is working harder than me!

Q. I tried your "Training Weekend". I went away for a weekend in hopes of showing my husband just how my day goes when he is away, but he just packed up baby and himself and headed to his parents for the entire weekend.

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Help! My Husband and I Are Constantly Fighting Since We Had a Baby

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Q. My husband and I are constantly fighting. We fight about who gets up when, who is going to get the baby - day or night. We fight about who has done what, who has cleaned what, who's more tired, etc. He doesn't understand that I can barely get anything done during the day by myself ...

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Married couples with children are less happy than childless married couples, says report

welcome to the jungle

The report, entitled "Baby Makes Three" from the National Marriage Project is just the latest installment, in what seems to be, a never-ending series of academic reports that find that those of us who are married with kids are less happy than our childless married friends.

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Don’t Think About Divorce, Work On Your Marriage

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These wise words were spoken yesterday by a senior family law judge in the UK, who has presided over hundreds of divorces. UK divorce statistics are similar to those in the US and Sir Paul Coleridge's comments merit repeating over here.

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My Husband is a Complete Slob!

Q: I am not exaggerating here, but my husband is a complete SLOB. I asked him out on our 1st date and he answered the door with a mop, so I assumed he knew how to clean. Um, no. We have a 16 month old, and I have a 9 and 10 year old from a previous marriage. I clean up WAY more than I should be. When I ask my kids to clean their room, they do. They know NOT to shed their toys/books/clothes anywhere but their rooms.

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