Help! My Husband and I Are Fighting Non-Stop Since Our Baby Came

"Baby ... Boom!"

Q.  I just stumbled across your site while almost weeping with desperation. Our baby girl is 9 weeks old and my husband and I fight nonstop. We are both so into our baby and are madly in love with her. And my husband does a lot … cooking, tidying up our home, picking up groceries etc....

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Arguing Over Chores: Husbands and Wives Keep Score Over Who Is Working Harder

What's the Score?

On any given weekend in millions of homes across globe, wives stand in front of their husbands listing all of the selfless acts they have performed in the last week: “I paid all the bills, bought a birthday present for your mother, read Goodnight Moon five times, took four six-year-olds to Chuck-E-Cheese . . . and that was just Tuesday. . . .” The husbands return fire: “Excuse me, but did I not make the kids breakfast every morning last week, including the morning it made me late for my presentation, when I really should have gone in early? And I picked up the dry cleaning without being asked, and I did bath duty three times last week. What more do you want?” A volley of personal accomplishments and sacrifices ensues. Not exactly what we thought life would be like when we eyed each other across the room all those years ago, is it?

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My Husband Is Never Around: Where’s Waldo?

wheres waldo

When my first kid was about three months old I reached my breaking point. I was downright exhausted and needed my husband, Ross, to pick up some slack. (Let me preface this by saying that Ross is a great guy. This happened during the early days of parenting when 'he just didn't get it.') One time, I remember telling him that all I cared about was stepping on some sort of exercise apparatus, improving my overall hygiene, and getting a few hours of shuteye. At the end of the day, he was no where in sight. Where's Waldo? I called him on his cell and of course he said he was on his way shortly. And what did I hear in the background? I could swear it sounded suspiciously like a combination of Golden Tee and a keg being tapped.

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Who Should Get Up at Night With Your Newborn? Playing Midnight Chicken

midnite chicken

During the newborn stage, new parents resort to all manner of fun and games to keep themselves amused during this difficult time. One of our personal favorites is called Midnight Chicken, also known as Who Will Blink First? It goes something like this: It’s 3:00 a.m. The baby is awake (again) and crying (again). You are both awake. You both hear her. But nobody moves. Women are tacitly calling in their chit (Surely he knows it’s his turn this time?), but men, the masters of this game, simply play dead (maybe they throw in a little snoring).

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My Husband Looks at Porn. Is He Not Attracted to Me Anymore?

Q: I have a 2 year old boy. Since he was born, my sex life has changed. Sometimes, we don’t do it for weeks. My husband is into pornography now. Is he not interested in me anymore?

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Sex and Communication Problems in Marriage: Men Can’t Hit Their Wives’ Moving Targets

whack-a-mole

“Trying to figure out what will get my wife in the mood for sex is like playing Whack-A-Mole.” —Dan, married 9 years, 2 kids

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Chore Wars, Why Women Keep Score with Their Husbands over Housework

What's the Score?

“Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not been able to answer . . . the great question that has never been answered: what does a woman want?” —Sigmund Freud All Dr. Freud really needed to do was spend a day with a mother of two preschoolers and he would have had his answer: we want a partner, not a helper on the domestic front. We want the gender equality we were raised to expect in our marriages and our parenting. And we’d also like some validation from our husbands to go along with it. “We had our first kid and almost overnight I felt like I went from being an equal to being the lesser partner in my marriage.” —Becky, married 8 years, 3 kids. “Why am I the only one in the house who knows where the pacifier, diaper wipes, and sippy cups are? Where the hell has he been living for the last three years?” —Rachel, married 6 years, 2 kids. In the course of writing about this topic, we realized women tend to keep score more than their husbands. There are two very good reasons for this:

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Advice: My husband thinks that he is working harder than me!

Q. I tried your "Training Weekend". I went away for a weekend in hopes of showing my husband just how my day goes when he is away, but he just packed up baby and himself and headed to his parents for the entire weekend.

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Help! My Husband and I Are Constantly Fighting Since We Had a Baby

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Q. My husband and I are constantly fighting. We fight about who gets up when, who is going to get the baby - day or night. We fight about who has done what, who has cleaned what, who's more tired, etc. He doesn't understand that I can barely get anything done during the day by myself ...

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Married couples with children are less happy than childless married couples, says report

welcome to the jungle

The report, entitled "Baby Makes Three" from the National Marriage Project is just the latest installment, in what seems to be, a never-ending series of academic reports that find that those of us who are married with kids are less happy than our childless married friends.

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