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The hour glass
Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 1:40 pm
In the book the authors talk about the "Hour glass" that seems to get turned over when the husband asks for sex and is told "Not tonight". The idea is that if the request is not satisfied within the next 24 hours then the hubby's foot starts tapping as he looks at his watch.
On one hand, I can see why it would be very annoying for a mom to have a request for sex come out of the blue and then be subjected to some kind of time pressure to get it done within the next X number of days in order to prevent a fight.
On the other hand, speaking as a dad, it is also frustrating to have your wife say "Not tonight" and then leave at that for days on end. I know from experience with my wife that if I ask her for sex on Monday and she says "No", if I ask again within the next couple of days she will get annoyed and tell me that I am obsessing about sex.
The problem is that my wife does not think about sex at all. She told me this. It never crosses her mind unless I bring it up. Suppose I ask her on Monday night and she says "No". Tuesday she might have a really great day and at 9:00 PM she might be in a good frame of mind, but it will not occur to her that now would be a good time to see about fullfilling the hubby's request from last night. Instead she will sit down and start watching a movie ot get into a book.
So how do you deal with that? If I don't bring it up then it won't happen. If I ask and she says no, then as far as she is concerned the subject is closed until the next time I bring it up. The if I bring it again too quickly I am told that that I am obsesing. But I haven't been successful yet! And the need has not gone away!
It can get very very frustrating.
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