Category Archives: In-laws
Q. My mother in law is causing me a lot of stress. My husband and I have two children.We have a very loving relationship, a happy marraige and a very happy home. When I returned home after having my second baby, my mother-in-law took over the house. She told my husband to say good bye to me and go stay with his father because he would be no use to me.
Sometimes grandparents have a funny way of welcoming a first grandchild into the fold. Specifically, they fight about it. It’s a battle for dominance. Whose culture and traditions will take hold? Who will win the coveted position as uber-grandma? Continue reading
Mothers-in-law don’t get great press. There are millions of horror stories about them doing the rounds on the internet, and if you google “jokes” you’ll see that most jokes are about mother-in-laws. Sure, some might deserve it but most are … Continue reading
When women marry and start a family, we envision a loving, respectful adult relationship with our husbands, parents, in-laws, and extended family. For some of us, this is exactly how things unfold.
But, for the rest of us there can be trouble. Big trouble. The arrival of the first baby/grandchild can make the the daughter-in-law/mother-in-law relationship fraught. Continue reading
Q. I live in California and my mother in-law lives in New York, so we don’t see that much of each other. She just sent a gift for our seven month old baby that I think is awful. It’s a hideous looking jack in the box type thing, that has a scary laugh when it jumps out. Continue reading
What Our Parents and Grandparents Can Teach Us About the Early Parenting Years: Reflections From the Other Side
It’s hard to have perspective about this stage of our lives. We can’t see too far beyond the next milestone: “Things will be so much easier when he’s potty trained/in preschool/making his own lunch/driving a car.” But we can get some perspective from couples who have been down this road already. Even though marriage and parenting have changed dramatically in a generation or two, the fundamental experience of adjusting to parenthood remains basically the same. The parenting veterans once found it as shocking as we do now. They felt their way along in the dark just like we’re all attempting to do. Continue reading
Becoming a parent often propels us back to our own families as we seek out their guidance and emotional support in dealing with this new chapter in our lives. Parenthood also demands, though, that we step into adulthood once and for all and make our new family our first priority. And for many of us it’s a difficult step to take. Continue reading
Q. I’ve never really liked my daughter-in-law. She is a manipulative and spoiled person. A few weeks ago I was at their house to babysit my granddaughter. I took her to the mall for an icecream and got her a haircut – she’s about a year and a half, and really needed a haircut with summer coming. My daughter-in-law was very upset when she saw her daughter and since then I have not been invited back to their house. Continue reading
Have you ever done a Grandparent Audit of your home? Tallied up how many gifts each set has sent or counted the number of photos featuring each one of them? No, of course you haven’t. You have better things to do with your time. But plenty of grandmothers have. They know exactly how much wall and floor space they occupy. And, they now exactly how much is occupied by The Competition. Continue reading
At some level we all know that putting our husband, or wife. or partner above all others is how things are supposed to work. (Hmmm. Wasn’t that a marriage vow? It sounds awfully familiar.) We all want to know that we have top billing in our spouse’s heart. In many ways, when we become parents ourselves prioritizing our new family – that is our spouse and our child – over our original one is the final step into adulthood. Continue reading