Monthly Archives: January 2012
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have previously said they would not get married unless everyone could legally marry, but it seems as though they are having a change of heart. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Pitt responded to a question about marriage by saying, “We’d actually like to and it seems to mean more and more to our kids. We made this declaration some time ago that we weren’t going to do it till everyone can. But I don’t think we’ll be able to hold out. It means so much to my kids, and they ask a lot. And it means something to me, too, to make that kind of commitment.” In another interview, with CBS Sunday Morning, Pitt said the kids have been telling him, “Get Mommy a ring,” and he finally promised, “Ok, I will, I will!” It seems as though their kids have an idea of what they want their family to look like.
So what does the “perfect family” look like? We all know that there really isn’t some pie in the sky, ideal family structure or arrangement out there. We never want to imply that there is one. Happy well-balanced kids can come from all different family backgrounds, however, what do kids typically want and why?
Even though parenthood changes our outlook on life and almost overnight matures us; we are still the same people we have always been. By and large we still need the same self-maintenance we needed before the kids arrived. But getting our daily allowance is harder to do after kids appear.
Sometimes, though, we make our married-with-kids life harder than it has to be. In our effort to have it all, we can end up focusing on the wrong things and overlooking what’s really important. Here are the two things we can let go of that will make more time for the things we need Continue reading
How many times have you heard/read the advice,
“You need to make time for yourself …”
“You need to put yourself first …”
“When Mama is happy everyone is happy ..”
You have possibly even said it yourself to another tired-out mama. And, of course, it’s all good stuff, but really somewhat meaningless if you don’t know what really and truly recharges you and makes you happy. Continue reading
Heidi Klum and Seal always seemed crazy about each other. Their love, and delight with their large family, seemed to be the real deal. The news that they are divorcing after seven years of marriage is sad. We all know that celebrity marriages are often not what they appear, that the perfect looking couple on the red carpet gazing into each others eyes might well be giving us all an oscar-winning performance and that they were bickering and calling their respective divorce attorneys on the drive over in the limo. Continue reading
Q: In your book, “Babyproofing Your Marriage”, you all talk about the “Hourglass” that seems to get turned over when the husband asks for sex and is told “Not tonight.” The idea is that if the request is not satisfied within the next 24 hours then the hubby’s foot starts tapping as he looks at his watch.
On one hand, I can see why it would be very annoying for a mom to have a request for sex come out of the blue and then be subjected to some kind of time pressure to get it done within the next X number of days in order to prevent a fight.
On the other hand, speaking as a dad, it is also frustrating to have your wife say “Not tonight” and then leave it at that for days on end. I know from experience with my wife that if I ask her for sex on Monday and she says “No”, if I ask again within the next couple of days she will get annoyed and tell me that I am obsessing about sex.
Google “happiness and having children” and you’ll find a lot of depressing studies that seem to conclude that we have a national epidemic of miserable parents on our hands. While you may not be miserable, we have all, as parents, had those days when we want to run out the front door screaming and hitch a ride to anywhere that Barney, Dora and friends cannot go. Continue reading
At some level we all know that putting our husband, or wife. or partner above all others is how things are supposed to work. (Hmmm. Wasn’t that a marriage vow? It sounds awfully familiar.) We all want to know that we have top billing in our spouse’s heart. In many ways, when we become parents ourselves prioritizing our new family – that is our spouse and our child – over our original one is the final step into adulthood. Continue reading
No doubt, you know that one of the things you are supposed to be doing for the health and well-being of your marriage is to have regular date nights with your husband. While a date night sounds like just what you and him need, how great does that date actually end up being? Continue reading
Q: He walked in last night and asked, wait for it…, “Why is this place always such a mess? The least you could do is clean up around here.” I’m more hurt than angry. He never, ever used to say things like that. I don’t want to tell my girlfriends about it because I’m embarrassed. He sounds like a chauvinist. I don’t want people to think that about him, but maybe he is. Since I quit my job he’s always making cracks about the state of the house. I don’t get it. He never cared about that stuff when I was working. I guess on some level, they want it all. The housekeeper, the stripper, the mommy, and the career woman. Help!
A: You are wondering, what does my husband expect from me? You both agreed that you are staying home for the baby, so you ask yourself, why isn’t he respecting my new role? Then it hits you. He just doesn’t get it – he doesn’t understand how hard it is to take care of the baby and the house. Right? What you are experiencing is Whiplash, a sense of the modern woman in you hopping on a time machine and hurtling back to the 1950s. What’s more, it can feel like your husband is pushing the button!
These wise words were spoken yesterday by a senior family law judge in the UK, who has presided over hundreds of divorces. UK divorce statistics are similar to those in the US and Sir Paul Coleridge’s comments merit repeating over here. Continue reading