We’ve all been there. Exhausted and not feeling remotely sexy. But it’s been a while so when you’re husband makes a move you say, “OK”. You might even say “OK, if you really want to …” It turns out, though, that as far as our men are concerned this “grin and bear it” approach to sex can actually be worse than saying “no”. A man can feel rejected even if – and amazingly, while- his wife is having sex with him. He wants her to want him, not just show up and treat sex like another chore. Imagine if your husband took you out to dinner and read a book throughout the entire meal? How hurt would you be? Would you sit at your kid’s dance performance and check email, or hang out with a girlfriend and think about updating your wardrobe while she talks about a work dilemma? When we do something for someone we love, we should do it wholeheartedly. We get a whole lot more out of our lives and relationships when we engage. Next time your man lunges for you think about it!